1. |
White Claw Outlaw
03:20
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I’m a White Claw Outlaw
I’ll drink it anywhere!
From the can or through a straw
It’s better than a beer!
One hundred calories keeps me looking trim
I’m a White Claw Outlaw
Just fill it to the brim
Going to a party of course I bring the Claw
Sit it there on the table next to the slaw
I share it with my sister like we live in Arkansas
But you know we’re out partying in the Straits of Mackinaw
Does anyone here know maritime law
Cause I’m hopping in the boat with someone’s grandpa
I know he ain’t mine cause mines long gone
But I’ll party with whoever has the White Claw
I’m hiking in the mountains down in Wichita
Or driving off-road in southern Utah
Or maybe going tropical out in Panama
It just ain’t a party til I crack that White Claw
I’m a White Claw Outlaw
I’ll drink it anywhere!
From the can or through a straw
It’s better than a beer!
One hundred calories keeps me looking trim
I’m a White Claw Outlaw
Just fill it to the brim
I see that pouch of Truly you’ve got stuffed in your bra
Drinking that swill really sticks in my craw
I’d rather eat some chicken that’s almost raw
Than drink anything that’s not my White Claw
Beer belly hanging out sitting at the spa
You think you look fancy with your Stella Artois
Sam Adams is tasty but there’s one fatal flaw
It’s got twice the calories of my White Claw
I’m a White Claw Outlaw
I’ll drink it anywhere!
From the can or through a straw
It’s better than a beer!
One hundred calories keeps me looking trim
I’m a White Claw Outlaw
Just fill it to the brim
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2. |
Rockin' in my Moccasins
03:10
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I’m rocking in
My moccasins
A night of fun
Bout to begin
I start this party up
And I tear this mother down
I finish off my cup
and I pour another round
I’m rocking in
My moccasins
I’m waiting for my friends
And I’m having second thoughts
Cause if they ain’t here by ten
Well they’re gonna get left off
The party is exclusive
The guest list has been made
No you can’t come with us
Cause your shoes aren’t made of suede
I’m rocking in
My moccasins
A night of fun
Bout to begin
I start this party up
And I tear this mother down
I finish off my cup
and I pour another round
I’m rocking in
My moccasins
Of course I’m in a bathrobe,
what a stupid question!
Please excuse me
It’s time that I freshen
Up my beverage once more
Yes it’s a seltzer
Hey nice shoes!
Do you want to be my friend, sir?
I’m rocking in
My moccasins
A night of fun
Bout to begin
I start this party up
And I tear this mother down
I finish off my cup
and I pour another round
I’m rocking in
My moccasins
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3. |
Arsonist Goat
03:10
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Babe the barn’s on fire!
Everything’s gone
I can’t believe it!
The fire department
Well they’re just leaving.
Everything
we worked so hard for
Laying in ash on what
used to be the barn floor.
The inspector’s done
And handed his report
And when I read it
Boy I was floored
The goat did it!
Chewing on electrical
Just admit it!
You’re super skeptical
We’ll rebuild it!
But I still can’t believe
The goat did it!
The goat did it!
An arsonist goat
We know for certain
He burned up my boat
And now I hear him
Chewing up another
Priceless artifact
Another part of my life
That’ll never get back
I went from making milk
Cheese and soap
To having nothing that I own
And nothing to show
But there’s one option left
All of a sudden
I’m eating my chèvre
With a side of mutton
The inspector’s done
And handed his report
And when I read it
Boy I was floored
The goat did it!
Chewing on electrical
Just admit it!
You’re super skeptical
We’ll rebuild it!
But I still can’t believe
The goat did it!
The goat did it!
Will I ever own
Another goat?
You better believe
The answer is no
I’ll rebuild the barn
And buy a new fleet
But what I’m gonna farm
Well it won’t have teeth!
The goat did it!
Chewing on electrical
Just admit it!
You’re super skeptical
We’ll rebuild it!
But I still can’t believe
The goat did it!
The goat did it!
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4. |
Occam's Razors
03:03
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Occam was a man who had
Many layers
He owned a shop in town that he called
Occams Razors
But he wasn’t satisfied just selling
Blades to shavers
He loved to sneak out at night and
carve up his neighbors
Tragedy strikes,
communities shattered
A fearful city
Worked up in a lather
When your town is plagued by a
Midnight slasher
Maybe stop and think there might be
Simple answer
The people well they all tried
To explain it
Who would go around town cutting off
People’s faces?
Occam quickly pointed out the doctor worked with all these chemicals
They might make him act wrong and hurt
All those other folks
Tragedy strikes,
communities shattered
A fearful city
Worked up in a lather
When your town is plagued by a
Midnight slasher
Maybe stop and think there might be
Simple answer
His reputation and his name
Still unblemished
Occam turned in the real
Neighborhood menace
The police hauled away the innocent
Old chemist
Sometimes the simplest explanation
Is the deadliest
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Thiccquid Grand Rapids, Michigan
Hard rock with a sense of humor. Midwest born and raised.
twitter.com/ThiccquidBand
www.instagram.com/thiccquidband/
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